My Cheese Empire

It’s been a topic of vast discussion over the last couple of weeks between my friends and I. During many social gatherings I managed to turn the conversation into raging debates about breast milk cheese (and knocking Tiffany up to get my milk). I was told recently by a friend that 55% of cheese was actually made from goat’s milk rather than cow’s milk which surprised me. After some research I also found out that there was a market for cheese made from rat’s milk, from this I started to think more and more about different variations of cheese and what other animals you could develop it from. After some deep thought about cheese (I really should find something more productive to do with my time) it hit me. What about breast milk cheese? Surely if people are will to drink or eat rat’s milk there has to be a market for women’s breast milk.

I decided to do some research on the topic seeing as surely I’m not the only person to have considered the idea, I’m not the only crazy person in the world. I searched Google for “Breast Milk Cheese” and found that although it’s been a topic of discussion on many forums, I only found on lady who has actually tried making it. Her name is Rani and the article can be found here: http://www.indrani.net/index.php?q=2006/03/breast_milk_cheese
In one single article my dreams to build a breast milk cheese empire were crushed, apparently it’s not possible to make cheese from breast milk.

When making cheese you’re supposed to bring it to a boil then add lemon juice to make it curdle. Sadly breast milk doesn’t curdle because the protein content is too low and the protein in breast milk is easy to digest as opposed to cow’s milk. This is why babies can’t drink cow’s milk.

With my spirits now crushed I am now researching other areas of breast milk products such as breast milk yogurt, butter, soup, milk shakes and pancakes. There are so many possibilities out there, any milk based product in theory.

I’m now looking for volunteers to donate breast milk so if anyone reading this is pregnant or knows someone who is pregnant who is willing to give their milk I would be very grateful. Also if there’s anyone willing to let me knock them up I wont object, otherwise we could just use a turkey baster if you don’t want the more personal approach. I’m sure the millions I make from my breast milk cheese products will cover the child support payments.

Go Ahead, Make My Day!

Isn’t it funny how really small things can completely change how you feel and approach the rest of the day? Today for instance two relatively minor events made my day and I’m in an awesome mood because of it.

Today around 10am or so I was working away, already in a feral mood because I’m doing 2 peoples jobs instead of my own when one of the engineers down from Sydney comes up to me and starts talking to me about my work. He starts talking about the procedures I’ve spent countless hours on and I start thinking “great what’s he going to complain about now?” When out of nowhere he starts thanking me and praising me for doing such a great job, I was chuffed. He said how his boss back in Sydney was constantly giving him grief on how to build things and now all he has to do is show him the procedure and say “well that’s how they do it in Melbourne” and his boss can’t do anything about it. I had a complete mood swing from angry and frustrated to happy and excited about my day.

To top things off and make me just that tiny bit happier I had a little stroke of luck with my work's candy vending machine. While working out on the floor I started thinking about how long it had been since I had eaten a bag of peanut M&Ms (for those who don’t know me they are probably my favourite candy and I will rip you apart if you try to steal any from me) so I decided to treat myself to some. I walked up to the machine with my $2 in hand and continued my purchase. As the machine started to release the candy it dropped 2 bags instead of just one (you could imagine my delight!) and my jaw dropped as I cheered gleefully. My day was complete. I ended up giving the 2nd bag away as I am supposed to be on a health kick but the fact that so far today most things seem to be going my way *touches wood* really cheered me up.

True Story

Pyramid Rock Festival Journal

This is my Pyramid Rock Festival Diary as promised. Just a quick note that the 1st half was written when I was very hung over on the morning of the 2nd day and the other half was written today about 2 weeks later. Enjoy

PYRAMID ROCK FESTIVAL DIARY
This blog shall begin with a brief warning. I’m writing this now at 5.15am with very little sleep and a serious need for a shower. As it’s only the 1st day/evening of the festival and I’m slightly drunk what I write may be a touch incoherent. To keep in the spirit of things however I don’t plan on editing what I write down at all. So sit back, relax and enjoy what I’m hoping will be an entertaining read.

I’ll start by back tracking to the early hours of Friday morning when we should have left for the festival.

29/12/06
6.45am
Jump out of bed bright eyed and bushy tailed (If you believe that you’re a fool) with my possibly fractured wrist still hurting. I worry briefly about my wrist briefly the concentrate on the task of packing ahead.

7.00am
Brodie Showers…
Mmm naked Brodie…

7.40am
I begin to pack the rest of my luggage. I cross check my insanely half-assed packing list and leave for Ben and Brons.

9.00am
I arrive at Ben and Brons, I catch Bron half naked and not even close to ready as usual. I wait for them to get ready and leave to pick Safety Dave up from work in Narre Warren.

9.40am
We arrive at the Mazda service centre to pick up Dave at work. He’s not even close to ready. Ben, Bron and I head over to HJ’s to get some grub and kill time. After eating we made a quick stop over at Fountain Gate shopping centre and my quest for shorts finally ends after I find a pair I like at Jay Jays. I only had to travel an hour plus to find some when I live next door to freaking Eastland!

12.30pm
We meet Dave back at the service centre and leave for Phillip Island and Pyramid Rock Festival slightly freaked out by a SMS from Leticia saying there’s a huge traffic jam.

2.30pm
Arrive with little troubles. *Notes To Self: Don’t stress about smuggling booze ever again. A Blind, one armed infant could have performed a better search on my car*

The search included: Opening my car boot, briefly rummaging through the blankets and just opening the lid of my esky. The shook Daves jacket, heard pills and all they asked was “pills hey?” We laughed and he placed the jacket back. He didn’t even open the jacket to take a look at the pills, they could have been anything. Copious amounts of alcohol could have been smuggled in very easily.

3.00pm
We set up camp. I can easily pitch a tent in my pants but I find it a touch my frustrating erecting a tent in very windy conditions.

4.30pm
After setting up and getting ourselves organised the drinking begins. The alcohol prices weren’t nearly as bad as I expected them to be. “Jager bombs” are only $8 which is fairly awesome. Bourbon and cokes were only $7 which are Switch prices. I’ve seen cheaper drinks around but they could have been a lot worse seeing as the crowd had nowhere else to go.

5.00pm
After 3 Jager bombs and 2 bourbons the effects of alcohol set in quickly as I haven’t eaten since 10am. The group of us hit the shops where Dave and I buy the most expensive (not to mention crappy) hacky sack on the planet for $12 at the hippy shop. At this shop they talk about some “legal” drug called RAGE which is similar to ecstasy. I’m momentarily interested until my instinct kicks in and I remember hippies are dirty dirty liars and it’s all a load of shit.

6.00pm – 1am
The drinking and festivities continue as I consume way too much alcohol. My wrist hurts much less than in the morning but it’s probably just because alcohol is numbing the pain. Safety Dave and I have a drunken D&M about a few things and continue to walk around the camp grounds. We meet some randoms at the stage area named Stacey and Katie (I think) from Ferntree Gully, we all sat down and chatted (and did cartwheels) for a good hour or so.

I met up with Leticia again and make more of a fool of myself which isn’t a rare occurrence really, but hey, I am who I am and I like me, so you should too!

I finally crash at around 1.30am or so and as I stumble in to my tent I notice that my bed has deflated. This didn’t really faze me much as I was both very drunk and very tired. After a few drunk phone calls to both my parents and possibly Brad (I don’t remember, I really must stop talking to my mother when I’m drunk because I talk way to much shit) I fall asleep.

30/12/06
4.45am
I wake up in a daze and my head feels about 3 sizes to small for my brain. I try going back to sleep but now the Jager Meister has worn off and the red bull has kicked in so I just tossed and turned on my ever so deflated mattress for about half an hour.

5.15am
THE QUEST FOR THE SHOWER BEGINS
Ever since arriving at the camp grounds it became very obvious that nobody, not even the event staff knew where the showers were. After walking around the camp site for a good 30 minutes and asking 5 different people where the showers were (who ALL said completely different things) I finally stumbled across the shower block much to my disgustingly dirty bodies delight.

After finding the shower block I then started the trek back to my tent to find my shower gear and fresh clothes. When returning to the shower block one person mentions to me in passing “I hope you like it cold”. I did not let the fear of a cold shower deter me.

The showers themselves were insanely crappy as expected. Picture 4 streams of water at a very cold temperature. I only bother to wet my hair and wash my face. I only quickly ducked under the water to rinse and wash the rest of my body.

6.45am
I return to our camping area and decide to start hand writing my PRF Diary/Journal (what ever you wish to call it). It’s now 8.45am and after discussing today’s plans with Bron I’m going to start preparing myself for Bushido who are on at 10am. Following Bushido are Behind Crimson Eyes (BCE) whose new album I recently purchased and much to my surprise I really liked it. It’s a huge step up from their EPs which I didn’t mind but there was definitely room for improvement. The final band I plan on seeing this morning is Something With Numbers who I remember seeing at P!ATD gig. They weren’t a terrible act so I figure I might as well see them again.

I then have a 4 hour break before the real festivities begin. I will either head into Cowes and see if I can scope out a shower for tomorrow morning or I will most probably pass out in my tent once all this red bull has worn off. I will then be seeing Faker, Lior, End Of Fashion, The Beautiful Girls (Who I’ve never heard of), Karnivool and finally Silverchair. All this starts at 5.20pm till around 12am when Dj Milo (who ever the smeg that is) sets up and my drinking will continue.

31/12/06
6.25am
Once again I wake up in a daze with my head feeling like it’s been kicked around a soccer field. I’ve managed to get roughly 2 hours sleep but once again the red bull has kicked into gear. Yesterdays festivities were highly entertaining. I only ended up seeing Bushido in the morning and skipping on BCE and Something With Numbers to meet up with Simon, Sara-may and Alison and head into Cowes with the full group (Ben, Bron, Dave, Simon, Alison, Sara-may and myself).

---I’m now writing the rest of this journal on the 15/01/06 2 weeks after returning home enjoy---

Events that happened on the 30/12/06
After much screwing around with tents and shuttle buses we eventually got to Cowes and headed straight down to the beach so the girls (and Dave) could soak their feet in the sea. Once we were finished with our feet at the beach (and we had enjoyed the…uh…view…) we cleaned ourselves off and headed down to the pub for some drinks.

At the pub we enjoyed many drinks and a very competitive pool game. It all began with just our group mucking around enjoying some friendly games of pool until another group of guys wanted to use the table. They must have witnessed me kicking Simon’s ass (Because as we all know, I am awesome) and they challenged us to a game of doubles for the rights to play on the table. Simon and I started slow but in the end we somehow managed to pull through and beat the suckers, however in the end nobody really cared as we were all just having fun. We ended up playing another couple of games against the other group and ended up having a great time.

We then moved on from the pub to find some food and after demolishing a crappy $9 pizza from PRF the night before I craved a real pizza. We sat, drank and ate some more for another hour or so before heading back to the festival. I was starting to get really pumped as it wasn’t long until Karnivool were on stage.

When we arrived back at the camp grounds we all headed straight over to the drinks tent for more alcoholic beverages before we organised ourselves for the Vool! We all wandered down to the stage to get prime positions for the acts of the evening. However I ended up loosing the entire group during my move towards the front of the crowd. I sat through 3 or 4 bands at the front just waiting for Karnivool wishing I hadn’t broken the seal, I can not remember a time in my life where I have ever needed to go to the toilet so badly. The worst moment was when I had to sit through The Beautiful Girls, not only did I really hate the music but I knew how close Karnivool were to coming on. I had 4 options leave the front to go the toilet and miss being in the prime position for Karnivool (this was never going to happen), Wet myself, find a bottle to piss in or just do my best to hold it. I ended up choosing to hold it in but wetting myself and finding a bottle were very seriously considered. In the end it was worth all the waiting and all the pain as Karnivool rocked. They played what seemed to me to be a very short set, but maybe it was all for the best as I probably would have wet myself. The second they finished I said goodbye to the guy standing next to me who I was talking to for a good 2 hours about random music stuff and trying to convince him to check out Mammal the next morning and I jumped out of the crowd.

The second I was I was ran like there was no tomorrow to the nearest toilet and had what can only be described as not only the best but probably the longest piss I have ever taken in my life.

After my toilet break I went and restocked on drinks then went to find my friends. I ended up running into Dave who was insanely hammered, I ended up walking him back to his tent and helping him to bed where he promptly passed out. I then returned back to the stage area where Silverchair had just started, I’m not even going to bother trying to describe how bad Silverchair were, but believe me they sucked. Seriously how can a band ignore so many of their classic songs and continue to play such crap? They didn’t play badly they just played crappy songs.

Midway through Silverchair’s set I stumbled upon the rest of our group. I explained to them what happened with Dave and we continue to party well into the night. When Silverchair had finished we went to get more drinks from the drinks tent and waited as Dj Milo set up. We didn’t hang around long to hear DJ Milo because well… he blew. I’ve decided I really don’t like dance music at all. I used to listen to it but these days I have no patience for it, it’s far too repetitive and soulless. Even in my drunken state I couldn’t even bring myself to dance to it, I just felt retarded and very out of place. I ended up just getting some food and walking around with Simon for a while before discovering who I now call zombie Ben.

Simon and I were walking to his camp site when we ran into zombie Ben. Zombie Ben is very quiet, he has a very deathly look about him and answers most questions with a series of simple, yet effective grunts. Zombie Ben then quickly disappeared into the night where we later learnt he somehow ended up at the beach. I ended up crashing at Simon, Alison and Sara-may’s camping area as I was far too lazy to make the long journey back to where my tent was.

Events that happened on the 31/12/06
Another morning another hangover, this quickly became the trend for all my mornings at PRF. I also went and had another cold shower as it actually left me feeling a lot more refreshed for the day to come. After my shower I crawled back into my tent and had a nap until roughly 9.00am, I needed to be awake and fresh for Mammal who were playing at 10am. When I 1st heard that Mammal were playing so early I was quite disappointed as they deserve a much bigger, much livelier audience. But the more I think about it the more I think they were suited to getting everyone up and moving. I can’t think of another band who could have handled it any better so mad props to Mammal. Just after Mammal they guy I was speaking to while I was waiting for Karnivool on Saturday night came over and thanked me for making him get up and check out Mammal, he thought they were killer.

I ended up heading back to my tent to catch some much needed Z’s as I knew (being New Years eve and all) it was going to be a big night. I woke up a few hours later just as Xavier Rudd was starting to play, I can appreciate his music but it’s nothing I really cared to listen to so I didn’t really bother going to check out his performance. I ended up in the “Annex” (the raver tent by night) seeing BCE with Simon, Alison and Dave. BCE were supposed to play the day before but due to some sort of screw up they didn’t make it in time. Not that I was complaining, I was quite happy that I ended up getting to see BCE after all. We also ran into Jordan and Susie who ended up hanging with us for a majority of the rest of the festival.

As the night progressed much alcohol was consumed and much partying occurred. The Living End brought in the New Year and they did an awesome job, although I don’t think our countdown actually happened at midnight. Regardless it was still an awesome show.

Throughout the night I battled off people trying to steal my glow sticks (I had 4 loops on each ear, 1 in each of my shoe laces, and my glow whistle which I can proudly say annoyed the hell out of everyone). I saw people on their hands and knees trying to take them from my shoes when I was in a big crowd of people, it was crazy.

I think this was my earliest New Years yet, I think I was in bed by around 3am but it was definitely one of the best New Years celebrations I’ve had.

Events that happened on the 01/01/07
I woke up around 8.30 feeling a little hung over and all I wanted to do was get off the island before the mayhem began. Sadly I did not get my wish, although I was packed and ready by around 9.15 Ben. Bron and Dave weren’t even close. So after waiting around and making a quick stop at the toilet preparing for a long trip we eventually got in our cars and started moving at around 10.30. I timed the entire journey off the island, it’s took us 3 hours to move 13km. After that 1st 13km traffic started to clear up and we were hassle free.


That was my Pyramid Rock Festival. Hassle free and insanely fun. I can’t wait to do it all again next year.

Festival Highlights include:
- UHF Radios on the trip to and from Phillip Island.
- Seeing Karnivool, Bushido, The Living End and Mammal
- Evermore playing a snippet of “Everybody dance now” one of the songs we had been singing during the entire festival.
- Meeting countless randoms.
- Getting to know Ben, Bron, Dave, Alison and Simon a lot better.
- Cheap Jager bombs.
- Beating strangers at pool.
- Continuous singing of “Romeo” and “Turn it up” among other random songs.
- Finally meeting Leticia.
- My glow stick madness.
- Breakfast Wraps (Best thing for a hangover ever).
- All round fun atmosphere and awesome line up of bands.

Festival Lowlights include:
- Poor toilet system and lack of running water to wash your hands.
- Travelling 13km in 3 hours
That’s it really, I had an awesome time

Well if you took the time to read it all I thank you.
Peace out.

Did someone say Blog?

So where did all the blogs go? Recently I have noticed the once friendly past time that was blogging is dying off which makes me a sad panda. I’ve found myself also blogging nowhere near as much as I did back in the day. As my friend Rhys would say in his funny little voice ”What Happened?.

Is it the weather? Is it because we are getting older (I surely hope not)? Or is it because we are running out of things to say? For me personally I just can’t find that need or want to blog like I used to. Most of the bloggers in the “Wood’o’spehere” (people from Norwood S.C who blog quite often) have slowed down. I used to depend on these peoples blogs to help me get through those slow days at work, no I have nothing.

Other than that I don’t have a great deal to say at the moment other than I hope you all had a festive Christmas and a happy New Years.

P.S Expect a huge post on my New Years shenanigans soon, it’s going to be a big one, that’s why it’s taking so long to post.

Peace Out!