My Cheese Empire

It’s been a topic of vast discussion over the last couple of weeks between my friends and I. During many social gatherings I managed to turn the conversation into raging debates about breast milk cheese (and knocking Tiffany up to get my milk). I was told recently by a friend that 55% of cheese was actually made from goat’s milk rather than cow’s milk which surprised me. After some research I also found out that there was a market for cheese made from rat’s milk, from this I started to think more and more about different variations of cheese and what other animals you could develop it from. After some deep thought about cheese (I really should find something more productive to do with my time) it hit me. What about breast milk cheese? Surely if people are will to drink or eat rat’s milk there has to be a market for women’s breast milk.

I decided to do some research on the topic seeing as surely I’m not the only person to have considered the idea, I’m not the only crazy person in the world. I searched Google for “Breast Milk Cheese” and found that although it’s been a topic of discussion on many forums, I only found on lady who has actually tried making it. Her name is Rani and the article can be found here: http://www.indrani.net/index.php?q=2006/03/breast_milk_cheese
In one single article my dreams to build a breast milk cheese empire were crushed, apparently it’s not possible to make cheese from breast milk.

When making cheese you’re supposed to bring it to a boil then add lemon juice to make it curdle. Sadly breast milk doesn’t curdle because the protein content is too low and the protein in breast milk is easy to digest as opposed to cow’s milk. This is why babies can’t drink cow’s milk.

With my spirits now crushed I am now researching other areas of breast milk products such as breast milk yogurt, butter, soup, milk shakes and pancakes. There are so many possibilities out there, any milk based product in theory.

I’m now looking for volunteers to donate breast milk so if anyone reading this is pregnant or knows someone who is pregnant who is willing to give their milk I would be very grateful. Also if there’s anyone willing to let me knock them up I wont object, otherwise we could just use a turkey baster if you don’t want the more personal approach. I’m sure the millions I make from my breast milk cheese products will cover the child support payments.